when clouds pass by...

Have u ever suddenly stopped and wondered ~~ wat happened before and how had u missed it all? And how could u have been so blind?

Everyday we wake up, we go thru the familiar routine of either work or plans to hang out with existing friends... At work, we think of how this day is gonna end and wat we'd do after that. On free days, we look fwd to plans being fulfilled, too busy organinsing and trying to fit all that we wanna do into as structured a day as possible, so that time is not wasted. And the pattern is repeated...

Each day we put on our blinkers, focusing only on wat's "impt" so that we can quickly finish up and plough thru to the next day. There's no conscious effort to be aware of the actual day and moment in its entirety. Mundane events do not register longer than the moment it takes to be over, and at the end of each day, i dun even remember wat happened at the beginning. I dun remember the pp or faces i've seen. Saddest of all, i dun remember the times spent with colleagues who eventually become close frens. It hadn't always been like this. There was fun to look fwd to before, when each day was filled with new adventures...

Did life change or did we?

And when someone actually breaks thru the barriers, it surprises u. You suddenly start to see them and they register in your life; and u wonder ~~ "how come i didn't notice her before" ... especially if she's been working with u for almost 2 years, no matter how sporadic...

When a person suddenly shifts from being a person in the periphery or from a colleague to a fren -- u puzzle that it took so long to happen and wonder wat caused the shift or triggered it. Most of all, u wonder at your own blindness and indifference before. Sometimes, the reason can be attributed to timing -- different scheduling and branches etc -- but it still takes u by surprise and u ask "hey where did all that time go?! how come there's no memory other than the now" And how come u really didn't pay much attention to them then.

And when this realisation takes place at a time when the someone is due to leave soon, it makes u all the more sad of the times missed in appreciation and recognition of the friendship. Of the time past when there could've been more outings, more hanging out sessions, chilling etc... Now, there's only so much time left. And it makes u cry each time u think of it and u chide yourself for being an emotional baby.

People come, people go... that's how it is and how it'll always be. If only we kept this in mind more consciously and appreciate the person infront of us at that very moment, lest it be the last. Although life is usually not as dramatic as that, it's still as unpredictable.

There are many things taken for granted daily or totally ignored and unregistered as we zip thru life. It's not easy to live in the moment without our minds wandering 10steps ahead.

So i'm telling myself to lay back, relax and watch each cloud drift by... slowly, quickly.. in their own time. And be thankful that there's still time.