What's the difference?

Everything I wanna do...
I plan it out, and I do it.
Everything I say I will do, I did.

Every decision is mine...
every plan is mine...
every suggestion is mine...
every conscious timing is... MINE.
sigh...

Nothing is of interest...
no spark enthusiasm...
no sign of life unless it's ____
nothing is done.

Where is the bouce?
Where is the energy?
Where is the vitality?
Where is the action?

I plan not to be selfish,
not to exclude,
not to inflict boredom...
to encompass other interests...

I took TAP
I sleep over
I ate fish
I walked in wet areas
I watch movies
I introduce books
I initiate activities...
Alas... my intentions fail.

Left alone again.
Ah well.

WHY IS EVERYTHING MINE!!
I wish there was some input, some direction...
someone else to be incharge sometimes.