Manners

Something to share.

A good fren just recently reminded me of the importance of manners and the role it plays in our daily lives. Think about it -- As long as you have to communicate with someone else, manners is involved. It is such an important part of society, yet it is rarely recognised, or taught properly. No doubt we've all been told to be respectful to our elders, to greet pp when you meet them, to say "please" and "thank-you" since the childhood years but that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Manners -- Good manners, go far deeper than that. Good manners involves empathy and most importantly, self control, especially emotionally.

In general, very few people wake up in a good mood every single day of their live, so what suffers is their manners. And if someone gives you attitude, pisses you off -- you're likely to pass that anger on to the next person you meet, hence the viscious cycle.

Good manners disappears quickly in times of stress, emergencies, despair, grief or fear. In the work environment, when pp are often pushed past their comfort zones, or made to work long hours constantly without the feeling of satisfaction or having accomplished anything -- bad manners sets in. Gone is any consideration for others -- the general feel would be "why should i bother".... "i dun care"... "it's not my problem"... OR "i want it done NOW"... "why are you so useless!!".. etc.

Does stress or grief give a person the excuse to behave badly?

Of course not. People will tolerate it to a certain extent because they sympathise with the unfortunate situation -- but it's still not right. Being stressed out or feeling like your whole life is shit still doesn't give a person the excuse to take it out on another innocent party. You are still expected to be civil to the pp around you. They are human beings too -- and have every right to be treated as such.

Good manners involves more than just being courteous. It ivolves a recognition that everyone is valuable in their own way and should be treated as such, not just stepped upon in convenience or anger, or just 'cos they won't/can't retaliate.

The importance of having Good manners just isn't emphasized enuff. It not only reflects a person's upbringing but how much grace a person possess. It is the posture of personality. Ironically, children are the ones with the best manners amoungst us. Firstly, it's because they are usually closely monitored and reprimanded swiftly in our current society. Mostly importantly however, it's because they haven't lost the innocence and the heart to care.

As we get older and experience more things, it comes to a point many times in our lives we'd ask ourselves -- what's the point of all this. What am I living for? What do i want to achieve in my life. A digression, but it plays a great role in what we do daily. How we treat others daily. If we don't even value ourselves, why would we value others? Why would we then bother to be considerate or even empathise with others.

Perhaps this is not so much about manners than human relationships?

Do we ever put others above ourselves, even our loved ones?

I know we do try. We always try, but i do think we rarely succeed no matter how much we say we love someone more than ourselves.

This is something i preach daily to myself -- yet sadly, it doesn't seem to be something i'm even close to achieving yet.