Stress
Ha! So, finally a blog entry. Am distressed. So, hvnt been much in the mood to write.
Did feel like calling friends, but probably would have ended up pouring out all my woes onto them, who needs more problems? I should try to be more positive, and think of the good stuff in life.
Recently, a friend rang me up. We used to be pretty good pals, like I suppose, we used to be super good buddies, until he got together with my ex-housemate, and she didnt want him to talk to me. I was disappointed, hey, but, my wonderful excuse was, if he is willing to go along with it, phew, am I glad I found out early. It is a huge disappointment, a sad ending to a friendship. (Come to think of it, when it comes to friendships, I am no angel either, so i shouldnt play the role of the poor victim). While most friends give the excuse of "no time to talk", it is acceptable, because they hopefully wouldnt turn you away in the time of need. I suppose that is what was difficult.
Anyways, he rang up, I was acid (oh! so how did you get permission to give me a ring?). Obviously, (not so to me initially, but in retrospect) they had broken up. I was not at all sympathetic. If a friend was willing to doubt 7 years of friendship because someone he barely knows for 2 months is spreading unkind rumours, then two points are pretty clear. 1. the 7 years are not worth anything. 2. the someone is not worth anything. (my point, the someone, I know for 4 years, living in the same place for a year, me spending time trying to cheer her up because she, has the poor lot in life since she hasnt gotten a baby yet and is already 26). But at the end of the day, logically, I think I do feel sorry for them, and I do feel that the pain and disappointed that was instilled is not as much as I make it to be even though (as you see), it does really look like it. I suppose this, I allow, because I know I have a lot more (how egoistic). I have alot more people who care for me (despite my behaviour). And this I have so much more :).
Now, I am at rock bottom of my life. I almost feel sometimes like calling someone, and pouring everything out. But, I think, everybody goes through a bad patch, and I suppose, they dont pour it out on me, just because they dont want to bog me down either. So... I should look forward, and hopefully, when i am courageous enough to pick up the telephone, I know I have joy to spread.
Did feel like calling friends, but probably would have ended up pouring out all my woes onto them, who needs more problems? I should try to be more positive, and think of the good stuff in life.
Recently, a friend rang me up. We used to be pretty good pals, like I suppose, we used to be super good buddies, until he got together with my ex-housemate, and she didnt want him to talk to me. I was disappointed, hey, but, my wonderful excuse was, if he is willing to go along with it, phew, am I glad I found out early. It is a huge disappointment, a sad ending to a friendship. (Come to think of it, when it comes to friendships, I am no angel either, so i shouldnt play the role of the poor victim). While most friends give the excuse of "no time to talk", it is acceptable, because they hopefully wouldnt turn you away in the time of need. I suppose that is what was difficult.
Anyways, he rang up, I was acid (oh! so how did you get permission to give me a ring?). Obviously, (not so to me initially, but in retrospect) they had broken up. I was not at all sympathetic. If a friend was willing to doubt 7 years of friendship because someone he barely knows for 2 months is spreading unkind rumours, then two points are pretty clear. 1. the 7 years are not worth anything. 2. the someone is not worth anything. (my point, the someone, I know for 4 years, living in the same place for a year, me spending time trying to cheer her up because she, has the poor lot in life since she hasnt gotten a baby yet and is already 26). But at the end of the day, logically, I think I do feel sorry for them, and I do feel that the pain and disappointed that was instilled is not as much as I make it to be even though (as you see), it does really look like it. I suppose this, I allow, because I know I have a lot more (how egoistic). I have alot more people who care for me (despite my behaviour). And this I have so much more :).
Now, I am at rock bottom of my life. I almost feel sometimes like calling someone, and pouring everything out. But, I think, everybody goes through a bad patch, and I suppose, they dont pour it out on me, just because they dont want to bog me down either. So... I should look forward, and hopefully, when i am courageous enough to pick up the telephone, I know I have joy to spread.
posted by toady | 9:49 AM
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