Over the air, Under the sea

Sunday, April 29, 2007

missing someone is an emotion u can suddenly find yourself besieged with
it lands like lightning out of the blue
without warning
without intention
and it is way beyond your control
how it consumes your whole person
the way to remain somewhat sane is to keep busy
life goes on
whether u're sad, angry, hurt, happy, having fun...
life goes on and u have to go on too
it's how things are
it's how u hv to be
2b accountable to life
life goes on
and u have to live as best as u can
for yourself

but i'm sorry for the complexes
words are dangerous and selfish and hurtful
and in the heat of the moment, there are usually regrets after
it is never committing this regret that we strive for within us
it is how we overcome daily challenges that molds us
it is the struggle to find meaning in life that we live for

i've missed u so much

Monday, April 23, 2007

i say u say

Had this thot in my mind since last nite...
All that unexpected chatting and being online till the early am -- not quite a habit but an action that seems to be re-emerging. The coming home, tossing of bag... bath and then hitting the surf... echoes the ole syd days (minus the er-hem.. lol). Hmm, it was different then for a period of time...enthusiastic rushing was included too - haha. Bygones (Richard**)

Well now being the techno-idiot that I am, only recently born into the new era (thanks muchly due to ***), blogging has created another outlet for defusing, announcements and sharing -- of which many would agree to be more convenient cf emails and less of a hassel cf webpages. And since signing up on Fridae it's been evening more exciting hahaha.

When I told Max this arvo - she returns with a question -- why not just talk on the phone....
Well...... once u've started online chatting, phonecalls can become obsolete for some. In fact I find emails, chatting and blogging much easier and less stressful compared to phone calls which often entails many uncomfy, awkward holes of silences, except with very close friends. For those who's gift of the gab rarely extends past the weather, msn is heaven-sent. Here the juices flow simply and effortlessly; and when u're all high and dry -- brb/away allows a graceful exit with no shame/panic of "shit nothing to talk about liao".

Undoubtedly, many would sigh over the loss art of conversation but I view it as another keyhole into someone's soul... The someones whom may not be all that at ease with spoken words, can, with a keyboard, become liberated soapboxers, allowing others access to their otherwise unheard thots. So I'm all for the new tech and I love words.
Writing also confines pp to a stricter and more proper use of the language itself as there is only so much you can stray from sentence structure and slang, without sounding completely incompetent and mediocre. Of course, being the ingenius lazy beings that we are, a new lingo has also been developed to make smses, mnses etc more efficient and "cool". This is but a minor setback. For the serious bloggers, the quest for befitting words used to reflect their feelings is often as important as what they have to say. Nothing is more satisfying than a blog succinctly (grin) written, with poetic accuracy. Many thanks to my right-hand aid : www.dictionary.com :) Aren't we finally living up to our teachers' endless request to "pls look up the dictionary" and acquiring a whole new vocabulary on the side?!

Unfortunately, despite the above said, there is a downside to this widespread access to "media". Media in its most raw and unrestrained form. There is no NC16, M18 or R21. A channel where unbridled emotions pour forth like an open dam, sweeping up anyone and everyone who reads what is written. And in the spirit of venting, shouting and exclaiming the unfairness of the world, sometimes we forget our audience, and that they too, can be hurt. They too, can be devastated by what's only meant to be a passing hurl of the moment, but ends up lingering in words written on a page. So... sometimes, like getting a room -- pls get a diary. Or administer a censorship after the storm has blown over. It is really not worthed it and I've learnt it the hard way.
That aside, I still love writing, typing rather. Another art that is slowly fading out -- the ability to write neatly and legibly (lol). Who hasn't had their hand cram-up or gasp in horror at their clumsiness and ineptitude to produce nice letterings anymore!! Well I have, especially when I have to fill up forms for clients. Wat to do, we gain some, lose some!! Hahah.
Still, writing and chatting allows the greatest freedom of all. The impersonality of chatting allows one to be whoever they feel like at the moment, releasing all eccentricities and cutting lose all unhealthy restrictions imposed on by society, setting free the inner self. That's wat I think anyway. Who says we can't be wilful petulant vibrant beings sometimes.
So, as with everything else in life, (sigh... excuse the stereoptypical passe-ed line) -- it's all about balance and consideration. And tat you'll never know where your words are gonna take u... definitely didn't start out blogging about blogging!! They wrote themselves -- truly (cross my heart...) haha.
PS. Recently, I've acquired a new old toy -- a puzzle book of crosswords, mazes, sudoku etc and it's oredi added hours of enriching entertainment for me and my fren. Crosswords can be super fun with the right company even if it's 2-3am!! :)
FINE

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Ditties...

Crash and burn..
crash and burn...
Stomp stomp
ick ick//
doormat ding dong
stop walking into the wall

Shake out the dust
And lose the heartbreak
Just let it go
And walk away...
Dum di dum di dum... la la

Late = selfish, inconsiderate... lack of effort
Have u considered your poor fren waiting for YOU!!!
Oh (waves a finger..) - just leave the ticks at the door like u did...
Oh btw, no sorry for my rudeness at being so late...

It is not ok to sit
as an adult
with your young family
and STARE when someone else's kid topples off the table...
where's your parental instinct?!!

It is not ok if your kid barges through the doorway just as someone is pushing a pram through... and you sit there with arms folded
saying "go ahead, be rude"

No means...
NO
Not in the mood
A bad time for things...
no no no
it doesn't tend well to "go la go la go la"

A zen scripture should include...
No i've only ever tried getting it out from the other side of the cage
Do i need to refrigerate the dropper too?
Oh u mean we need to continue with that (even if he's not quite alright, but we think he's ok!!)
Oh i dun think we need that... i think we're fine
No la, not that serious right... just hypersalivating, we just love coming after hours.

So why is it wrong
when i'm heartless
and choose not to care
like you have?
Remember " I dun care or give a F*..."
All I asked was...
time out time out...
One frelling request when NO means NO.

And wat do you mean it'd be ok if i walked away......?
Or that we'll talk tmw and that tmw never comes 'cos u're just too selfcentred to care.
Why is it wrong if i demand special treatment 'cos i've earned it all these years, and u are the one that's taught me it's part of life 2b heartless -- so what gives u the right to care all of a sudden and demand that I not spoil the happy times!!
And how do u expect me to swallow the double standards when it's shoved right in my face by a mere "passer-by"!!

The world doesn't revolve around YOU!
And when u want it.
I am not the street directory...
the information house...
the useful for contact ONLY when u need something.
Or when u say 7:15's fine and turn up at 7:45
Or for appointment booking when the phone line's working fine

All u ever ever are
is mean
savours the last word
the stabs

And who allows u to say that we're just aquaintances!!!
WTF
Shake out the dust
and lose the heartbreak
Just let it go
And walk away...

Suckitup
Suckitup
Suckitup
No ice-cream for you!!

KEEP MOVING FORWARD
KEEP MOVING FORWARD

Let it goooooooooooooooooo........

Appreciate and care for those who care for you...
not only those whom u wanna care for...
often it only ends in heartbreak
neglect not the little doormice at your feet
trample not the little ants that carry you crumbs...
sneer not at the humble gifts that come your way...
snub not the goodwill hand offered
sincerity is the greatest gift of all
and the ability to forgive
RIGHT LEG - i salute u for that.
There is no integrity lacking here.

IRONY...
pp often go against
inate wisdom
and 6th sense
we seek out destruction
pain
and ...
unhappiness
we're the happiest when we're unhappy
always wanting more more more

Ill-thrift
is what it means!!
Check up the DICTIONARY
has your teacher never told you how!!!!!!!!!
Failure to thrive
I am NOT GOD
or GODDESS
or the DIVINE
how should i know WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
STOP BUGGING ME!!!!!!!

6TH SENSE
We all have it
we dun usually listen to it
it talks to us
but it's too vague and unsure for a true commitment of the mind...
EG 1. no class on sunday!
EG 2. unexpected fatality (both parties felt it)...
EG 3. when your rabbit ignores u and dies later

LASTLY...
pls leave those rose-coloured glasses behind...

Btw it's time for sleeping beauty to wake up and smell the roses,
vegetarian or not.
You're not to sleep forever.
Life awaits.
It IS a SIGN!!
Curry Crochette POWER!!

We're all pieces
Puzzling pieces

Saturday, April 07, 2007

I read... ALOT



Bliss...

how many times can u feel bliss and still be amazed and grateful?
tats the magick of bliss...

bliss is knowing acceptance even with silence
bliss is having space to work things out unquestioned
bliss is recognising some bits of u are broken even if u haven't uttered a single word... or even teared
bliss is someone noticing and being there
bliss is trying to get u to buy a "hideous" green cat/owl sweater
bliss is being given a funky backpack

bliss is also being passed auraclens without having to ask
bliss is crunching curry croquette and savouring every bite with someone who equally appreciates
bliss is getting all excited assembling a new ti-kam toy without having someone ask "why?"
bliss is non-judgemental, sympathy and taking your side
bliss is watching an inappetance gobble up AD
bliss is my citrus bath soap that makes me bathe twice in a bath

thanks u.

bliss is more than words
larger than life
greater than love

it is beyond the sunshine
no more sunshine!! icks.