Not unduely surprised, she peers closely at the familiar dots on her forearm. Not again! What on earth can I be allergic to this time, she grumbles to herself as she test scratch the area. Itchy with an underlying soreness -- the same which had resolved 2 weeks ago.
The house was not espeically dusty, considering it gets cleaned out at least once a week having owned a fastidious mum. And she had recently changed her sheets after more spots started appearing alarmingly behind her ears. Non-puritic nor visually obvious, but causing enough panic for her to jump start the morning with new sheets and pillow cases -- a feat usually reserved for more energetic times.
Coughing, more loudly today, she heaves a sigh and lays back onto the pile of cushions, waiting to slip back into the book propped up infront. No more wheezing, and the tightness she felt under her ribs last night had since disappeared. But her chest was still cold. Less but still cold, since yesterday.
Thinking back, she's been cold for a while now. Not persistently, but consistently for the past months. Even the short stint at the beach which had given her such a healthy glow, had failed to remove the icy chill. She's been wondering if there isn't something more wrong with her than just the lack of sunshine.
She stops to think. It was so cold yesterday, since she work up, at work and when she came home. Even after a hot bath, and swathed in a sweater and long pants. The cold remained, right on her chest, as though her sternum was frozen. And there was the sniffling. It was allergies she knew. It was just that particular work place, where they insist on filling the poorly ventilated area with cats -- of which she was particularly sensitive to. She hates it, and despite the precaution she had taken yesterday by swallowing an antihistamine, the sniffles didn't take long to over-ride it.
So maybe it's the cats that's causing the bumps....?
Or was it that fruit she had eaten in the past few days. The strong overpowering aroma, enticing, thick, succulent and fleshy! She had finished half a box in the first sitting and had had more the following days and nights.
Absent-mindedly she scratches her left wrist. Two more bumps!! On a different hand! Could it be the mozzies??!! Now she feels itchy all over - her head, her arms... arrghhhhhhh!!!!!! And she's back to work again tomorrow, at the same place!!! Tomorrow I shall take Zyrtec instead of Allertyn she thinks. It should be more potent except that it may put her to sleep. Oh well, if it gets rid of the annoying sniffles, she doesn't mind being woollen-headed for the day. The clients will just have to deal with her being extra slow and sloppy.
She scratches again at her arm, feeling the satisfaction of an itch well tended. Now her arm feels minty cool and tingly. She must be careful not to overscratch lest the subsequent inflammation makes the arm swell and skin harden. It had happened before 8-9years ago.
It's lilely the combination of the two, she thinks again. I shall have to stop eating the fruit for awhile till my throat clears, and avoid cats as much as possible for the next few days. It was just a few days ago when the weather was wet and chilly that she noticed all her fingernails turning purple, almost like a nail polish applied. No one was as cold.
Brrr.... she piled more cushions on herself, trying to keep warm. The fever had abated after the afternoon nap and she is feeling better. It occurs to her now, as it had many occassions previously, that her physical coldness is just a reflection of the void she's been feeling inside. The cold emptiness that she matters naught to the people she had held so dear. The nagging feeling that they're probably better off without her never cease to sadden her daily. She's heard their joyous laughter when she wasn't around...
The holidays hadn't been too bad. She was lucky to still have some company for the movies and eatings that had helped in the distraction. Still, the coldness, inside and out, lingers on.
She heaves another sigh and marks her page in the book. Time for bed. She tumbles the cushions away as she crawls out of the sofa and heads up the stairs. Tomorrow will be another day, and sleep will just take the pain away for a while, she hums to herself as she brushes her teeth. She settles herself in bed with another book, patiently awaiting her friend's phone call. It had been too noisy to talk with rain and traffic in the background. Now they would have their little chat before she sleeps, and that was comforting in a way.
